You ever do that thing where you Facebook stalk all of Jordan “Jords” sometimes just “Ordz” Levine’s friends? I mean Jordans hot but man oh man she’s got some hot friends, and it’s chill because you’re like best friends with Jordan so obviously she’s going to hook it up with her homies. So you drop a line to Jordan being like “yo you’re friend Maddie is cute, set it up?” Jordz then tells you “omg yes she like just broke up with her boyfriend” – perfect.
So, nothing happens in the immediate 10 minutes and you decide to take actions into your own hands, for me this means a Facebook friend request. And hey, I know what you’re thinking, that’s weird and creepy, why would he “befriend” someone he doesn’t know. First of all, think about that for a second. Second, because facebook is a joke, and I will literally friend request the shit out of Jordan’s friends, they are hot and they need to see pictures of me hanging out with my dog.
Aight so you friended Maddie, off the bat her facebook picture doesn’t do her justice, she’s got that natural beauty that an iPhone screen really just can’t capture. Now, is it wrong to assume that if she accepted the friend request, she wants to hook up? I mean, it was a conscious approval of my physical traits, she saw the profile picture, obviously digged it, and hit accept – so I’ll take that a “yes Jonah, let’s make out.”
That night, Ordz has a pre-game at her apartment, of course Maddie is the one girl still wearing sweat pants and not drinking cause she “has so much work to do”, classic.
Lucky for me I brought my backpack and will be doing work as well, with Maddie…naked.